Allow me to..elaborate.
- I'm kinda getting used to my class. I mean, at some points I'm just like WTF am I doing here?! but its way better. It kinda sucks having only like 4/5 barely close friends in your class but I'm dealing with it.
- That 'love of my life'? LOOOOOOL that feels like history. He is 'so last summer'.
- More on boys. There's this one guy....I'm gonna call him Roberto (because that is a sexy name) and we started off as friends but now we're sorta...blurring that line between friends and more than friends. It's all very confusing and I honestly with every fibre of my being want to be MORE than friends but, well, guess not. ):
- Lessons are torture. History is balls. It really is. My art teacher DESPISES me. She gave me an E. For a mind blowing painting of a bird that took me ages (90 minutes tops) because apparently, I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE PAINTING A BIRD. Bishh, please.
- Of non-class friends. So you know I've got 4 best friends who were from my old class? Yeah, things are getting weird now. One of them is becoming more..distant. And I'm always the last to know about things (she only tells me because the other 3 persuade her, pfft.) and I tell her EVERYTHING. I guess its just because I'm not in the same class anymore, which makes inside jokes more inside, leaving me out to play the guessing game. Oh well.
- Ah. The depression part. I was going through depression for a few months. No one really knows the full extent of things but yeah, I was doing the whole cutting, staring into space thinking dark thoughts and a whole lot of others. It wasn't pretty. But, I had Paggie. And she helped me through so much. And Roberto, of course. Plus, I realised that I wasn't the only person going through a tough time, so that gave me a bit of an epiphany. I don't know if I'm using the word right. (:
- And there's the whole self-esteem thing. Don't gag but guys have been kinda weird lately. The flirty, asking-out thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some weird tease, it's just nice to feel..special. Yes, it sounds disgusting written down.
So yeah, things've changed. And I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Relieved? Confused? Happy? All of those, I guess.
PLUS I"VE BEEN READING SO MUCH OHMYGOSH. Loving it. Haha the nerd in me..
My exams are on the 10th. Kill me, please?
I should go study now. Or not. I'm just lazing around.
Love,
dhan.
